Retirement doesn't mean NO stress or NO pressure - targets simply change

When you have spent your life leading from the front, is it easier to retire—or not to retire?

As you approach 60, this question starts playing in your head.

Should you call it a day? Or continue as a consultant, advisor, independent director or board member—work a few hours, stay connected and make some money?

For me, the answer was surprisingly simple.

I have never been comfortable doing anything where my neck is NOT on the line.

If I am responsible, I want the accountability.

If I am accountable, I want the authority.

And if tough decisions have to be taken, I want the power to take them.

I have always been a front-foot player. I never understood the concept of giving advice from the sidelines while someone else takes the decisions and carries the consequences.

So, when I started thinking of calling it a day at 57, around two years ago, several offers came my way.

“Just consult for a few hours a week.”

“Join us as an advisor.”

“Don't work full-time. Stay connected and make some money.”

Very tempting.

But simply not me.

My personality doesn't allow me to be involved without leading, deciding and being accountable.

So I decided to completely hang up my boots.

Decision made.

Easy.

Or so I thought!

Because the real challenge started after I stopped working.

For more than three decades, I had practically lived at work. 24x7.

Travelling five days a week, meetings with clients and teams, conference calls on weekends, airports, hotels, deadlines, targets, crises and the next problem waiting before the previous one was even solved.

Suddenly…

I was home.

And I had a LOT of energy!

It wasn't just a shock for me. It was probably an even bigger shock for my small family.

They had to suddenly adjust to this guy who had hardly been around for most of his working life now being at home every day!

Then came another interesting discovery.

Almost all my friends were from the industry or from companies where I had worked. I had never really been part of school groups, college groups, alumni groups or those extended-family WhatsApp groups.

My WhatsApp was basically work.

Suddenly I was added to all kinds of groups.

And that's when I discovered India's greatest post-retirement talent:

Forwarding WhatsApp messages.

And, of course, the other great discovery—how quickly political discussions on WhatsApp can destroy relationships that had survived decades!

Then came school and college reunions.

I went with great excitement and nostalgia, hoping to meet old friends and perhaps rediscover some old memories.

And honestly, I was curious to see whether the old school crush still looked the same.

Reality hit hard.

She was now a grandmother.

And instead of discussing old memories, we somehow ended up talking about the Lord!

But somewhere along the way, I realised something else.

Most of my friends around my age had entered a completely different phase of life.

Some had ageing parents to look after. Others had grown-up children finding their own feet. Some were becoming grandparents. Family responsibilities had changed. Priorities had changed.

So retirement doesn't necessarily mean NO stress or NO pressure.

The targets simply change.

Earlier, the goalpost was revenue, profits, growth, deadlines, business and careers.

Now the goalposts are health, parents, children, family, fitness, financial security and simply trying to stay healthy and disciplined.

And strangely, many of us are actually getting into a healthier routine.

Less drinking.

Better food.

Regular workouts.

More sleep.

Trying to be more disciplined.

And perhaps because of that, meeting friends also becomes less frequent.

So WhatsApp becomes the new meeting place!

And then, inevitably…

One becomes a bhakt.

Another becomes a critic.

And suddenly a perfectly innocent family or friends' WhatsApp group becomes a mini political battlefield!

People who have known each other for decades start fighting over politicians they have never met.

That's when I realised something.

Retirement isn't really about giving up work.

It is about discovering who you are when work is no longer defining you.

For someone who spent his entire life chasing targets, building businesses, taking decisions and leading people, learning to slow down is probably the toughest assignment of all.

No designation.

No office.

No team reporting to me.

No 24x7 calls.

Then came a few “pass-time” activities.

Some members of the society suggested:

“Why don't you become the Hon. Secretary?”

And that was the icing on the cake—or perhaps the beginning of another madness!

I quickly discovered that running an organisation is one thing.

Being an honorary society secretary is something completely different!

Suddenly, instead of running businesses, I was walking around the society checking whether housekeeping was doing its job, whether security guards were at their posts, whether lights were working and whether this or that small thing was in order.

And, of course, listening to everyone crib about everything!

It became so painful and irritating that, eventually, I resigned.

And I realised once again:

Life keeps changing the goalposts.

Perhaps retirement is not about finding another designation.

It is about finding a life that gives you purpose without needing a designation.

And maybe that's the biggest leadership challenge yet—

learning to lead yourself.