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Reporter's Diary: The picture perfect bahu!

24-August-2013
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Reporter's Diary: The picture perfect bahu!

We live in the 21st century – an era of equality, liberty and open mindedness, or at least we tend to believe so. While it might not be the same era for 72 per cent of the population residing in the rural areas, but the metros? We are right there! We are so NOT conservative that we could give America a run for its culture.

When a ‘modern’ woman, belonging to a ‘modern’ family sits in front of her television set in her well-furnished Andheri apartment and feels Anandi’s pain in ‘Balika Vadhu’, all she thinks is ‘Where does this happen? I would never do this – you CANNOT mix daughter and daughter-in-law, that would be a crime. Don’t you see the word ‘law’? She is forced on us – BY LAW’.

Coming back to the topic, the ‘modern’ woman thinks that her daughter-in-law will be fair, tall, with silky smooth hair, size zero or maximum size two, a queen of her house. ‘My picture perfect bahu will look after my son like he is her son and feed his beer belly with the salary she earns after completing her double grad’.

Our queen will entertain all the guests who come to our place with her charm, while my son will laugh on the stupid jokes the guests crack while scratching his semi-bald head. And well, since she is an ‘Indian’ bahu who resides in a ‘modern’ family, she will dutifully balance her professional and personal life by cooking after returning from her eight-hour shift, while he sits with me and listens to me complaining about HIS wife. Isn’t this normal?

Where are we headed? We are grooming a vicious cycle of saas-bahus, who pass on their insecurities generation after generation. Why is it that women, who have been through the worst, look out for the best bahu for their sons, who might not even deserve the average. Making girls fetch something from the end of the room just to see if both her feet are of same size or spreading a white bedsheet on the first night to find out if the dear daughter-in-law is ‘PURE’, is this what we are breeding the society into?

I don’t know about others, but I surely don’t deserve this. I am a simple girl with a lot of pride. I still see ‘Chak De! India’ and believe that yes, equality exists. I see my oversized self in the mirror and feel that yes, there is somebody out there for me. But if this is the price of staying with that someone, I am happy to lead my life by myself. At least, I will not be burdened with the fact that I am a part of this fake liberty.

 

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